It was 2006 and I found myself living in a tiny little apartment in Portland with my best friend at the time. Apparently 11 years of being friends doesn't always lay the best ground work for being good roommates, especially when that friend had depression they chose to ignore, and expected me to act as their mother.
At that time, we found out the friends of ours had split up. I must confess, one of them I has a secret crush on for quite some time.. but I was not going to take advantage of the situation she was in at the time. I did what any good friend would do and offered her an open invitation to my couch and home as long as she needed it.
It wasn't long before I found out that she too had liked me for some time, and a relationship began to blossom. My friend moved out, and Renee moved in. I knew somehow I had gotten it right this time, as it didnt feel the same as when I had dated anyone in the past. I was going to marry this one, I just had a feeling.
Eight months into dating, we were engaged after the most breath taking proposal I have ever seen. Granted, this one was for me, so of course I would think it was pretty great, but even if this had been for someone else, I would still say it was the most beautiful proposal ever :)
We set the date for April 13, 2008, excatly 2 years and 1 week from the day we began dating. In the mean time, we moved back to Renee's home town of Augusta to be closer to her family. I don't have much for family, so the thought of being close to hers made ma happy, the feeling of being part of a family was something I had always wanted. Shortly after we moved into our TINY Augusta apartment, we fell in love with a little old house and instantly knew this was the one that was meant to be ours. You know, you walk in and can tell this is where you are going to raise your kids, set up Christmas trees, and make big yummy dinners on Sundays. We had gotten lucky and bought it from an elderly woman who had lived there for over 60 years and her and her husband took amazing care of it. All that need to be done was cosmetic, and a kitchen remodel. ALL... yeah that kitchen remodel cost a pretty penny and sucked to live through, but thanks to my Father-in-Law, its beautiful and DONE!
We knew we wanted to start trying for a baby pretty soon, and already knew it was going to be a little more challenging for us seeing as we were a same sex couple, so there was an added layer of aquiring the "goods" lol!
Our first try resulted in a failed attempt.. "oh well, there is always next month". 2, 3, 4 ,5..... all nothing. For me, I have never been the type of person to have dreamed about having this amazing career when I grow up, as a kid, all I ever wanted was to be a mommy. So needless to say, when each attempt came and went with no pregnancy to be excited about, I was crushed more and more.
So what do I do when things don't go as planned? Get mad, sure- in this case YES, but more importantly, I get stubborn, determined, and research EVERYTHING until I find a way. After the 1st try failed, we went straight to getting all my innards checked to make sure nothing was wrong before we sunk money into trying each month. All was good, "text book" even. So we began to see a fertility doctor to do IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination). All failed. By now I was beyond crushed... my spirt was broken. I had no diagnosis to stand behind and point a finger at, just unexplained infertility. Well... stubborn and determined won out again, and I brought out the big guns... we were going IVF baby!!
I found an amazing clinic in Upstate New York who I would reccomend to anyone. We started the medication and we were off to make a baby... high tech! :) We did our egg retrevial on Halloween 2009, and ended up with 8 perfect embryos. We didnt actually get pregnant until our last Frozen Embryo Transfer... I got pregnant with Eli, our last remainng embryo on March 17th 2010 (Happy St. Patty's Day)... I already knew I was going to like this kid ;) See my next post for Pregnancy and Birth Story.
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